How To Talk With Your Employer About Caregiving

Important Considerations When Discussing Caregiving Responsibilities With Your Boss

Taking care of a loved one is a deeply personal, and often stressful commitment. Add in a full-time job, and it's unsurprising that many caregivers are overwhelmed and experience burnout. With a record 53 million Americans currently providing care for a family member who is aging, ill, or disabled, many caregivers grapple with the complexities and stresses of caregiving while maintaining their lives and full-time work.* 

Research from the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers (RCIC) shows that caregivers who are also employees provide an average of 20 unpaid caregiving hours per week, which explains why nearly one-third of caregiver employees have voluntarily left a job due to stress and burnout.

For the millions of caregivers who struggle to balance their responsibilities with a full-time job, talking to your employer can feel overwhelming. Will your boss understand your need for more flexibility? Will you lose your job if you ask to change your work responsibilities or schedule? 

No matter how much an individual wants to perform that caring role and does so willingly, the consequences for the individual who gives up a job they enjoy to be able to care for a loved one can be serious in terms of both loss of income and a sense of purpose.

First Steps: Tips From Our Team Of Experts

Starting the conversation with your employer about your caregiving responsibilities can be daunting; framing the conversation as a negotiation where your employer can benefit will help the conversation go smoothly. Start with a win-win attitude and use these tips to talk to your employer about your family caregiver needs to give yourself the best chance for success.

Prepare for the conversation with your employer well in advance and write down a list of the problems you're encountering and potential solutions that work best for you. The last thing you want is to seek out help and support from your employer during a moment of crisis when you feel unable to express your actual needs effectively.

Be Knowledgeable About Federal And State Laws

Over the past decade, state and federal policymakers have shown increasing interest in supporting family caregivers. Recent federal legislation is creating new opportunities to further these efforts, though there is much more progress to be made to support and protect caregivers sufficiently.

Family caregivers have been historically overlooked, but the COVID-19 pandemic highlighted their importance in a new way. At both the state and federal levels, there is a growing interest in recognizing the central role caregivers play in taking care of many older Americans or individuals with disabilities.

Connect With Human Resources 

Your HR Department can be an excellent resource with a wealth of knowledge regarding federal/state laws, plus any other benefits your company may offer. They can walk you through various resources, such as FMLA, within your state and place of work.

In most instances, you can use FMLA leave all at once or in smaller time blocks. It is best to inform your employer about your need for FMLA as soon as possible, but take note: FMLA leave is unpaid. Additionally, if you have available sick time, vacation time, paid time off (PTO), etc., your employer may require you to use that time first.

Expert Advice: You may be able to use FMLA, state-paid family leave, and medical leave simultaneously. Check with your employer.

Inform Your Employer How It Will Affect Your Schedule/Workload 

Under FMLA, if your employer provides group health insurance coverage, then you have the right to continued coverage during FMLA leave on the same terms as if you had continued to work. Be aware you will need to continue to make any regular contributions to the cost of health insurance premiums.

If you know you will need FMLA leave, you must give your employer at least 30 days advance notice. For example, if you plan to take time off after a loved one's surgery, you must legally give 30 days’ notice.

When you need FMLA leave unexpectedly, you must inform your employer as soon as it is possible and practical to do so. For example, if a family member is injured in an accident, you can inform your employer as soon as it is possible and practical to do so.

Consider Alternative Ideas

In addition to being honest and straightforward about your needs, be prepared for negotiation. Your employer is obligated in most states to accommodate you, but they are not required to meet all of your requests. 

More often than not, you will compromise the terms of your leave with your employer. Keep an open mind and be willing to compromise; try coming up with potential solutions that work for both parties involved. Do not forget that negotiation is critical – remember that employers may not be able or willing to accommodate all of your requests – so come prepared with well-thought-out counter-offers or alternatives.

Working from home

Adult daytime programs 

Wellness resources

Reimbursable elder care services

Change in work hours

Therapy options through health insurance

Important Reminder: Take Care Of Yourself

As we all know, the first rule is to put on your oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too. If available, consider using PTO to spend time caring for yourself.

Being a caregiver for a loved one is an incredibly challenging job, and if people haven’t experienced it themselves, it can be difficult for them to imagine the impact it can have on every area of their lives. It's essential to have honest conversations with people about your experiences – not only so they can understand but also so they can help brainstorm ideas on how to make your life and workload more manageable.

The idea of talking about your caregiving role and the negative effect it may have on your work can be scary. While having an open conversation about your situation might be difficult, it’s also the first step to making your work-life balance more manageable and less stressful.

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If you struggle with caregiving responsibilities or want more information on aging in place, speak to an aging-in-place specialist. Universal Home Consulting can help you navigate the challenges of caregiving and create a plan to ensure that your loved ones can continue to live safely and comfortably at home.

At U-Home, we understand the importance of aging in place and helping families feel confident that their loved ones can stay safe and healthy at home. We offer virtual home safety assessments to help families identify potential risks and create a plan to address them. We also provide caregiver coaching to provide education and support to help prevent injury and burnout.

*Per the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. (2020). Caregiving in the U.S.